Roxanne

My Dad.

The last time I hung out with my dad I was 11 and we went to go see "The Mask" with Jim Carey. I remember exactly how I felt about my dad at that age, but to simply say he was my hero sums it all up. I remember the day we went to see "The Mask" because I always looked forward to hanging out with my dad... it was always a highlight. Lots of things have changed since I was 11 and circumstances have come in the way of my dad and I having the best relationship in the world, but some things never change. For some reason a man that I've said I've hated in the past is still my hero and just to spend time with him still makes me feel really special.

All we did was go out for lunch, go to see "Wolverine", and wash my car, but it was a day I'll never forget. Because I had been hurt by my dad so much in the past my automatic reaction when it comes to our relationship is to protect myself, my feelings, my expectations, and my emotions; because I don't want to get hurt I usually become numb and turn all defense mechanisms on full blast.

But that's an awful way to live.

I realized sitting in that restaurant with my father that I do love him, I do have hope and expectations and that's healthy and normal. I've finally come to the point in my relationship with my father where I'm not constantly thinking how I need to protect myself. By protecting my emotions, I realized I would never grow and mature, emotionally at least.

Love equals risk. Relationships require lots of risk and vulnerability. Accepting the fact that I love my dad, despite our history, is a huge step for me and I just wanted to share that with my Blogger family. I forgave my father a year and a couple months ago and told him I loved him for the first time in years. Last week we hung out for the first time since age 11. If I can make progress so can you. This is a very sincere encouragement to all those who have a hard time reconciling with a parent, specifically a dad. There's hope! You don't have to have bulletproof emotions. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable for in your moments of vulnerability you will find true strength.

Let's Kill the King...

 "In the year that King Uzziah died, 

I [Isaiah] saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, 

and the train of his robe filled the temple."

Isaiah 6:1

Isn't is ironic that Isaiah saw the Lord in a breath-taking vision right after King Uzziah died? 

What "king" needs to die in your life in order for you to see God?

Like... maybe sometimes it takes death to finally get a revelation from God and of God. 

Maybe it takes killing some things in our lives before we can hear God clearly and see his purposes in our lives. 

"Kings" may represent anything that sits on an undeserved throne in your life. If you ever hear God's direction, or see His vision for your life, or have him reveal your true identity it will come after you've killed something in your life that's a "king". 

your pride.

unforgiveness.

bitterness.

selfishness.

a relationship. 

an addiction or habit.

Once King Uzziah dies, Isaiah is able to get a vision from the one true King. Makes sense. 

Isaiah had a choice though. He could have mourned King Uzziah's death, holding onto the dead weight of a dead king. So many times we hold on to dead weight. We stay in dead relationships. We go to dead churches. 

Maybe God has killed that relationship for a reason... and you keep trying to hold on to it. If it's dead, let it go and move on. 

Maybe we hold on to dead things because it's familiar, it's what we're used to. Maybe to embrace the new and unpredictable course for your life. But what happens when we begin to shed all the dead areas of our lives that aren't producing anything? I believe that's when we receive a revelation from God about the NEW and UNFAMILIAR places and plans He has for us. Although the dead feels familiar, God's best for us is found in the new, the unexpected, the unplanned, the unfamiliar, the scary, the different.

Kill what needs to die and chart a new course based on a revelation from God... then take a huge leap of faith into the unknown. The life of a prophet was unpredictable and scary but Isaiah accepted that call. 

"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 

'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?'

 And I [Isaiah] said, "Here am I. Send me!"

Isaiah 6:8

The Truth About You

Every night after Reveal and Respond various students would approach me to talk, to wrestle through certain issues, or to ask me questions, which I absolutely enjoyed. While talking to people, I noticed a certain pattern. People would often say things like, "I wish God could change me" or "I know God wants to change me but I'm not ready, "All I need is for God to just change me." 

All of these statements rely on the premise that for some reason God wants to change us. If God created you, and loves you, and accepts you, why would he need to change you? Are these questions based on a wrong assumption we have about God, and the intrinsic value and worth He's placed in each of us?

God doesn't need to nor does He want to change any of us. Why not? Because he created us just the way He wants us to be. Rather than change us, I believe God wants us to discover our true selves, our identity that can only be found in Him, and to base our lives on the truth of our real identity.

He doesn't want to change us. 

He wants to reveal to us who we really are. 

He wants to introduce us to the unlimited potential we have. 

He wants us to become us.  Because in becoming the creation we were made to be we worship the Creator. 

The last thing God wants to do is to change who you are, because then He would be losing out on a part of His creation. He doesn't want to change you, if anything He wants you to be more... you. God rejoices in each intricate piece of the puzzle that makes you, you. Neither does He want to change a thing about you. It's such a part of our culture to want to change ourselves that we believe God also wants to change us. Well, He doesn't. He's only interested in showing you who you really are. 

Don't pray to God to ask Him to change you. Pray for Him to reveal the truth about who you really are and respond in obedience.