Riots in Kampala

So, this is the thing... every tribe in Uganda has a King called a Gabaca. Uganda as a whole has a President. Today President Museveni didn't allow the Bugandan Gabaca (Buganda is the largest tribe in Uganda) to enter Kampala. This is a BIG NO NO... and riots followed. The Riots got so intense it made it's way to Mukono and no students were allowed to go to their families. We could literally hear gunshots... so we decided to record a video. Duh!

Are you a Negro?

I met Mama Aida and the rest of my family on Wednesday. I exchanged introductions with all eight of my new brothers and sisters as they proceeded to make my bed and unpack, unfold, and hang all the contents of my suitcase. Calling them hospitable would be an understatement.

While all of this is going on my new 22 year old sister, Florence, looks at me and asks, "Are you a Negro?" I think for a couple seconds and give a hesitant yes. "You look like Obama! You Negro!" By this point I'm in mild shock. I haven't heard the word Negro used in years... and never have I been asked whether or not I was one. This has been my most awkward but hilarious social interactions so far. Brian (my roommate) and I are the 17th and 18th students my family has hosted and I am the first Black American, or Negro according to Florence. Many Ugandans never even see Black American except on TV.

While all the students were filing into the DC airport I realized I was the only Black student out of 43. 42 Mzungus (the Ugandan term for white person) and me. My experience will be very different than theirs', when I walk to school from my house nobody stares, I actually feel like I fit in everywhere I go, and my family is very happy and proud to have a Negro live with them for a change.

Tomorrow I leave at 5AM for Rwanda to learn about the genocide of 1994... It will be a very intense 10 days. I will blog all about it (along with bucket bathing and eating Matooki) when I return.

Dads and Doors

A couple of months ago my Dad surprised me with a new car, a 2006 Honda Civic named Bella. Bella replaced my Ford Focus which I could not justify spending the time or energy to name. Bella was a pretty big upgrade from the Focus, to say the least.

When my Dad first gave me the car he spent about an hour explaining how I needed to be responsible by taking good care of my car and how I needed to show him that I appreciated this gift by cleaning it and taking it in on time for routine oil changes and what not. He went on ...and on... and on.

Last weekend while out with some friends I got into a bit of an accident. I was entering a parking lot and got stuck. The decline into the particular parking lot I was entering was too steep, my wheels lifted off the ground leaving the undercarriage of my car resting on the gravel. I tried multiple times to maneuver my way out but Bella was stuck. We called a tow truck to pull Bella out of the ditch and it seemed the saga was over, until I tried opening the door.

CREEEEEEEEK...

The weight of my car had been resting on the body of the car instead of on the wheels and somehow in the process the gap in between the body of my car and my door closed... and my door wouldn't open all the way. The rubbing was causing the paint to scape off every time I got in and out of my car. This made looking cool as I got in and out of my car very difficult.

I made a split second decision once I noticed my door: "I'm NOT telling my Dad...He'll be pissed."

I got through the weekend without him noticing, I even got through Monday. I got home Tuesday and as soon as I walked into the house he asked me, "What's wrong with your car?'

"Ummmmmmm..." The stuttering problem I immediately developed upon arriving at my house prohibited me from explaining what happened as articulately as I just did.

"Let's go downstairs and see what's wrong." By this point I had an attitude. First, because keeping this from my Dad was an epic fail and who doesn't get an attitude once they've been caught for something? In addition to being upset that I got caught... I knew I was in store for a very long lecture on how to be careful while driving and a lesson on how to drive and not have accidents happen. Needless to say by this point I was not in a good mood... pride never deals well with the humility that comes from being exposed and honest.

We get downstairs and within ten minutes my Dad had fixed my door. He closed my door, walked towards me and said, "If you had just told me sooner, it would have been fixed. It's not good to keep things from me."

How many times have I tried to hide the broken areas of my life from the only One who can fix them? ...countless

How many times have I said, "I'll fix this on my own. I don't need God?" ...countless

How many times have I been too full of shame or fear because of mistakes that I've made therefore I purposefully hide from God? ...countless

Tuesday as I walked back to my room I realized that the door of my heart was just as damaged as the door to my car... unable to open fully and hidden from the one with a solution. Just like I misjudged my dad, thinking he would just be upset at the fact I made a mistake, I had misjudged the character of God so many times, unable to trust the One with my best interest at heart. Just like I thought I could hide my car from my dad, I've been foolish enough to think I could hide the contents of my heart from God, pretending like secrets don't fracture relationships.

Tuesday God used my dad to remind me that I can trust Him more than I think, that nothing is hidden from Him, and that He's waiting to mend, heal, and fix whatever mess I've made. Maybe I'm the only one that has tried to drown out God's voice calling for me to return to him and desperately hiding from His presence. Maybe I'm the only one that has made mistakes and been too afraid and full of shame to confess and repent and allow God to minister forgiveness to me. But what I know about human nature tells me otherwise. I pray we learn from my dad as well...

Hope you enjoyed this Kristie... it was for you.

Where Does It Begin

Seeing the need in Africa is overwhelming to western eyes, and well, to any eyes. Seeing it firsthand, you get a vast feeling of helplessness - that it all seems very unrepairable. The continent, it seems, is in full despair. But can we say that?

We see the townships, the shack communities, we see the flooded homes, soggy mattresses, if any mattresses. We see the need for shelter, food, and clean water.

Then we look to the children and we see their wide smiles. How is it that these kids can smile and laugh without food in their bellies? Without parents at home, or without parents at all. And without a proper home (in western minds at least).

How is it that after this, after a feeding scheme, the kids could run and play with us, after being reminded that their stomachs are hungry - most still hungry? The joy they contain is overwhelming, bubbling over to change and raise the expressions of our faces. It's not hard to decipher which is more puzzling, the fact that there are masses of starving children or the fact that the masses of starving children are so joyous.

I chatted with a young man named Thando, a new found friend of mine, as we walked through his home, a township of shack homes called Kuyamundi. He told me he could not live any other way, or in any other place. This is his home. He told me I was welcome to live with him in his shack for a year. An invite I didn't take lightly. He said that I would see why he said what he said, that I would learn a few things (and indeed I would). But, I think I already see. Of course, on a low understandable level, but this is how I think Thando feels - and how I think I am coming to feel more and more:

Thando and I are both Christians. He and I both know that the United States is filled with more than its share of the rich, the self-absorbed, and the distracted. An American will say, " God has blessed me with these TVs, toys, and clothes, this beautiful house and expensive car." I think both Thando and I speculate that maybe these things are not blessings. That statement sounds harsh; but maybe these "blessings" are built as distractions. Distractions that skewer our view of God and the world. The toys can fog our ideas of what is important in life. The cars can drive our understanding of God, that He is good because he has given us nice cars. This of course is not the case for everyone, but it is evidently the fact in many American homes.

But here, to Thando, that is not the case. The possessions are nonexistent. There are less distractions, exempt the reality of very visible poverty. And that may not be a distraction so much as a challenge. Thando is a member of a leadership group (under a mission organization called Kuyasa) called Hats and Glasses. The point is to find and train the leaders of 'tomorrow'. Thando doesn't want to leave his community because he wants to grow it and change it for the better - not in a possessional way but in a spiritual way.

It is a strange reality that a young man such as Thando would not choose to leave a simple shack for what would be a nicer home in our minds. Nonetheless, it is a reality, and it is a hopeful one. He knows that there is more out there than a fancy home, an expensive car, and fashionable shoes. He knows that those items come and they go. He knows more than the average young person, let alone the average young person in the States.

And so I wonder, here in Africa, were does the need end and the blessing begin?

South Africa is a beautiful country filled with the fingerprints of God.

- Jesse Poole

0183

Today while walking around the township of Kayamandi we met this lovely lady. Her name is Leah. Kayamandi is home to 28,000 members of South Africa's Xhosa tribe, and today, like many winter days in Kayamandi, it rained a lot.

This is no problem for most Americans, because we live in actual houses, with roofs that work. Unfortunately for Leah, who's husband died years ago, tin shack 0183 is not waterproof and when it rains everything she owns gets soaking wet.

When our team first met Leah, the entire inside of her shack was covered in water. The ground was soaking wet despite the sea of buckets covering her floor. So we did what any group of people would do. We went into town, bought plastic to cover her roof and spent the entire afternoon making sure that Leah didn't have to live in a leaky shack, sleeping in a wet bedroom. It's my opinion that nobody should have to sleep in a soaking wet shack with rain constantly pouring in. But definitely not a sweet old lady, who's old enough to be my grandmother.

Nobody may care about what our team did today. But Leah cares, because she can sleep dry tonight. People may think that we made no big difference since there are several thousand shacks that are still leaky and wet. But there's one that's not, and to Leah we made a huge difference. Others may think making a real difference means building her a real home. But to Leah, tin shack 0183 is a real home. It's her home, she's lived in this shack for over 10 years, and it's always been leaky until today.

To fix Leah's shack cost about $12 and 2 hours of our time to listen to her story and fix her roof. All it really takes is caring enough to help meet people's needs. Everyone can make a difference in one person's life.

No excuses.
No pessimistic attitudes.
Just hearts of compassion and hands ready to serve one person.

This is the thing. And this is for you Leah.

Mary Singing.

This girl's name is Mary. As our team left her school she wanted to sing for us. She sang in Zulu, the words of the song mean: "My thoughts are filled with the Holy Spirit." As I stood in front of her in awe I was finally able to put a name and face with all the staggering statistics we hear in America. From now on I won't think of the millions that live with HIV/AIDS in depressing poverty. I will remember one little girl. Mary's voice. Mary's face. Mary's name. I'll never forget her, I promise. I heard the Holy Spirit in this little girl's voice. I wish I had the words to describe it, but some things you just have to be there for.

This is the Thing. And this is for you Mary. Now that I have seen you I am responsible.

Roxanne

My Dad.

The last time I hung out with my dad I was 11 and we went to go see "The Mask" with Jim Carey. I remember exactly how I felt about my dad at that age, but to simply say he was my hero sums it all up. I remember the day we went to see "The Mask" because I always looked forward to hanging out with my dad... it was always a highlight. Lots of things have changed since I was 11 and circumstances have come in the way of my dad and I having the best relationship in the world, but some things never change. For some reason a man that I've said I've hated in the past is still my hero and just to spend time with him still makes me feel really special.

All we did was go out for lunch, go to see "Wolverine", and wash my car, but it was a day I'll never forget. Because I had been hurt by my dad so much in the past my automatic reaction when it comes to our relationship is to protect myself, my feelings, my expectations, and my emotions; because I don't want to get hurt I usually become numb and turn all defense mechanisms on full blast.

But that's an awful way to live.

I realized sitting in that restaurant with my father that I do love him, I do have hope and expectations and that's healthy and normal. I've finally come to the point in my relationship with my father where I'm not constantly thinking how I need to protect myself. By protecting my emotions, I realized I would never grow and mature, emotionally at least.

Love equals risk. Relationships require lots of risk and vulnerability. Accepting the fact that I love my dad, despite our history, is a huge step for me and I just wanted to share that with my Blogger family. I forgave my father a year and a couple months ago and told him I loved him for the first time in years. Last week we hung out for the first time since age 11. If I can make progress so can you. This is a very sincere encouragement to all those who have a hard time reconciling with a parent, specifically a dad. There's hope! You don't have to have bulletproof emotions. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable for in your moments of vulnerability you will find true strength.

Let's Kill the King...

 "In the year that King Uzziah died, 

I [Isaiah] saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, 

and the train of his robe filled the temple."

Isaiah 6:1

Isn't is ironic that Isaiah saw the Lord in a breath-taking vision right after King Uzziah died? 

What "king" needs to die in your life in order for you to see God?

Like... maybe sometimes it takes death to finally get a revelation from God and of God. 

Maybe it takes killing some things in our lives before we can hear God clearly and see his purposes in our lives. 

"Kings" may represent anything that sits on an undeserved throne in your life. If you ever hear God's direction, or see His vision for your life, or have him reveal your true identity it will come after you've killed something in your life that's a "king". 

your pride.

unforgiveness.

bitterness.

selfishness.

a relationship. 

an addiction or habit.

Once King Uzziah dies, Isaiah is able to get a vision from the one true King. Makes sense. 

Isaiah had a choice though. He could have mourned King Uzziah's death, holding onto the dead weight of a dead king. So many times we hold on to dead weight. We stay in dead relationships. We go to dead churches. 

Maybe God has killed that relationship for a reason... and you keep trying to hold on to it. If it's dead, let it go and move on. 

Maybe we hold on to dead things because it's familiar, it's what we're used to. Maybe to embrace the new and unpredictable course for your life. But what happens when we begin to shed all the dead areas of our lives that aren't producing anything? I believe that's when we receive a revelation from God about the NEW and UNFAMILIAR places and plans He has for us. Although the dead feels familiar, God's best for us is found in the new, the unexpected, the unplanned, the unfamiliar, the scary, the different.

Kill what needs to die and chart a new course based on a revelation from God... then take a huge leap of faith into the unknown. The life of a prophet was unpredictable and scary but Isaiah accepted that call. 

"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 

'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?'

 And I [Isaiah] said, "Here am I. Send me!"

Isaiah 6:8

The Truth About You

Every night after Reveal and Respond various students would approach me to talk, to wrestle through certain issues, or to ask me questions, which I absolutely enjoyed. While talking to people, I noticed a certain pattern. People would often say things like, "I wish God could change me" or "I know God wants to change me but I'm not ready, "All I need is for God to just change me." 

All of these statements rely on the premise that for some reason God wants to change us. If God created you, and loves you, and accepts you, why would he need to change you? Are these questions based on a wrong assumption we have about God, and the intrinsic value and worth He's placed in each of us?

God doesn't need to nor does He want to change any of us. Why not? Because he created us just the way He wants us to be. Rather than change us, I believe God wants us to discover our true selves, our identity that can only be found in Him, and to base our lives on the truth of our real identity.

He doesn't want to change us. 

He wants to reveal to us who we really are. 

He wants to introduce us to the unlimited potential we have. 

He wants us to become us.  Because in becoming the creation we were made to be we worship the Creator. 

The last thing God wants to do is to change who you are, because then He would be losing out on a part of His creation. He doesn't want to change you, if anything He wants you to be more... you. God rejoices in each intricate piece of the puzzle that makes you, you. Neither does He want to change a thing about you. It's such a part of our culture to want to change ourselves that we believe God also wants to change us. Well, He doesn't. He's only interested in showing you who you really are. 

Don't pray to God to ask Him to change you. Pray for Him to reveal the truth about who you really are and respond in obedience.

Reveal and Respond

Jesus Wants the Rose!

If anyone wants the link to the original site, check it out: 22 Words

Genesis 3:11: "Who told you that you were naked?"

About a year and three months ago I was at YWAM Orlando completing a DTS. During this time in my life I was completely overwhelmed about how many things I had to fix about my things. I was trying really hard to stop having sex, I had a very bad pride issue, I was addicted to porn, I HATED my father, and I felt like I was trying to fix all these things at once. One morning Jessie Anderson, one of my DTS leaders told me he had a vision of me the night before at a bench press trying to lift weights that were obviously too heavy for me. I was desperately trying to lift the weights and kept saying, "I can't do this!", "This is too heavy!", only God was standing there and asked , "Who told you that?", "Who told you that you can't do this, or lift this weight?", "Did I say that it was too heavy?" I was consciously choosing to believe that I couldn't overcome all the issues in my life, when God was clearly saying that I could.

You may be in a similar circumstance, making reason as to why you think you can't
...accomplish
...overcome
...succeed
...believe
...forgive
...trust

And maybe God is asking you the same question, "Who told you that?"

Who told you that you're not beautiful?
Who told you that you have to be afraid?
Who told you that you can't trust me?
Who told you that you can't overcome this obstacle in your life?

Who told you that? Certainly not me.

Why is it so difficult to believe what God says about us? Why is it so hard to believe what his Word says about the power and authority and victory we have over sin and Satan? Maybe we need to ask ourselves why we believe certain things about ourselves and where is the source of the information we have. So, today you have the option of believing and listening to what Satan and maybe other people have said about you, your self worth, your potential, your future, or you can believe what God thinks of you. You can find reasons to doubt, to not forgive, to be overwhelmed, to fear, and not believe in God or yourself. But you can also find reasons to believe God wants to use your life to change the world, that your problems are not to difficult to bear. You can always find reasons to have faith and hope when you are listening to what God has said about you and your life.

John 8:32 says, "Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free"
John 8:44 says, "When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies."

Ask yourself this question, "What are the lies that I believe about myself?" Do you have low-self esteem? It's because you believe something about yourself that you didn't hear from God. If you can prove to me that God said you're ugly than I guess you can prove me wrong. The number one thing the enemy has always used to defeat people are lies. He lied to Adam and Eve and he lies to us. You have the CHOICE to believe him or believe God. The sad reality is that it's easier for some reason to believe Satan. You can receive freedom by accepting the TRUTH.

Jesus often said in the four Gospels, "You have heard it said... But I tell you the truth..."

This is maybe a template for freedom and healing. So fill in the blank. "I have heard it said that I can never be used by God because the sins I've committed are so bad. But Jesus tells me the truth that as long as I confess my sins he is faithful and doesn't even remember them."

Your lies probably aren't the same as mine so please fill in your blank and come back Saturday for a sweet video.

Manny

Stacie this is for you.
Yicaury thanks for all of your hard work... i love you.
Hope everyone enjoys... come back Wednesday for question 2.

Questions. Where are you?

For the most part Christians approach the Bible with all their questions. We come to God with all the things we want to figure out. We have questions about God, about the world, about science, about our future. We come to God and the Bible with loads of questions, but have you ever stopped and considered that instead of the Bible being a place we come to get our questions answered, the Bible is really the only book with the ability to ask you questions. We come to the Bible with questions, but if we are honest with ourselves the Bible and the Spirit have this ability to look into who we really are and ask us the questions.

For the next couple of weeks I'll be blogging as part of a series entitled Questions. I'll be looking at the places in Scripture where God asks us questions. This is part one.

In Genesis 3 God asks two very poignant questions. The first is: Where are you? The second: Who told you that you were naked? And God is still asking us those two questions today, they may sound different but essentially they're the same. It blows my mind how deeply God longs to be in relationship with us, he absolutely knows where we are... but he asks anyway. The first question may seem simple but it's pretty profound. Ever since the first mistake humans have had a natural inclination to run or hide from God as a response to their sin, and what God is really saying here is: Why are you hiding from me? Maybe we really don't understand the love of God, that our sin doesn't cause him to love us any less, and really whether we want to acknowledge it or not HE'S STILL THERE. Poor Adam really thought he could hide, but so do we. How hard is it to pray right after you've sinned, or fell to that temptation that gets you every time. The presence of God is there when you fall and even if you don't want to acknowledge it... He's there. So next time you come from your girlfriend's house after going "farther" than you both said you should, He's asking... Where are you? Next time you check that pornography site. Where are you? Next time you gossip. Where are you? In your attempts to ignore God because you're in a bad mood. Where are you? He's asking you constantly because he wants us to trust his love enough that we can run to Him at all times. So many times non-believers say things like, "I'm going to get my life together then I'll do the GOD thing." But Christians say the same thing in our subtle language. "God will love me more once I change some things about myself".

So many times when we screw up we hear: "Get away", "I'm disappointed in you", "You should feel ashamed!" When really He's asking, "Where are you, come here so I can fix it, I miss you, I love you, you don't have to be ashamed, I forgive you."

Where are you? He's not asking because you've finally fixed enough things in your life or stopped sinning. He asks out of a genuine concern for why we run away from him or hide from him when we fall. "Where are you," is the cry of a father looking for his son in a crowded mall. He's upset his son ran off, but he's a lot more delighted to see his son when he finally finds him.

People only want to know where you are if they miss you. Is God asking where you're at? Maybe he misses you, stop hiding... He can see you silly

Next Wednesday: "Who told you that you were naked?"